The meadow sings like a lullaby

the grass swaying to the rhythm

the rabbits hopping to the beat.

                             Erica Sais

 

          You can analyze the writing of this third grader’s poem as if the writer was a professional. For instance, the poet leads with an inanimate object doing the action. The meadow sings. This is a common technique in contemporary poetry. This results in interesting direct action lines.  

 

          In the first line the object takes an action verb. The meadow sings. The action in the next two lines is shown with the participles, swaying and hopping. This is a pattern. Patterns are characteristic of poetry. Children pick up the poetic patterns.

 

          There is a pattern of direct verb action in the first line and participle action in the last two lines. Was this third grader aware of the pattern she was crafting her poem? Doubtfully. Use of good writing techniques occur naturally – with, of course, the help of teaching.

          Note the nice simile in the first line. The meadow sings like a lullaby The student did not think, "Gee, I have to use a simile here."

          Second line -- the grass swaying to the rhythm It starts direct and literal -- the grass swaying. . . The third line starts direct and literal -- the rabbits hopping . . . A direct and literal combination of words can be lovely and powerful.

          Note it is a pattern -- line one an image (simile). The next two end in prepositional phrases. ("to" plus noun). A one and two pattern.  Also, the first combination of words is a sentence (subject and verb). The next two are fragments (lacking a helping verb with the main verb). A one-two pattern.  

          The three lines are in a subject-verb order. The verb in the first line is a direct action verb. The verbs in the last two lines are participles. A one and two pattern.

          The first line uses alliteration (L in like and lullaby) for the ending, the last two lines use a prepositional phrase for the ending. (to plus noun, lullaby and beat ) . Again -- a one and two pattern.

          In poetry, it is a phenomenon that we like rational arrangement of lines in writing. Take Erica’s three lines -- one has an action verb, the last two action participles, Again, for description, the first line ends with a simile, and the last two with prepositional phrases, each starting with to. A one -two arrangement. We like patterns in our poetry. Children become used to language patterning from hearing it -- the absorption beginning in infancy.   

          It is a phenomenon that a child’s poem can appear as though it had been crafted. Who knows how consciously?  However, much of what crafting awareness and subconscious awareness (if I can say that) the young poet might bring to a poem results from teaching. Erica benefited from a poet teaching her, Susan Astor, Poet-in-the-Schools, who has more than 25 years experience teaching thousands of Long Island students that they can write good poetry and showing them how to do it. For creating a poem, what the teacher gives the student combines with language characteristics, particularly patterning, that the youngster absorbs in infancy.  

          Thus the excitement that comes from teaching our young people poetry writing-- the-rabbit-from-a-magician’s-hat production of a successful poem.

          Erica’s poem is literature! So are Jack Trested’s and Michael King’s, these young poets also taught by Ms. Astor. The three are Poets Laureate at Meadow Drive Elementary School (Mineola Public Schools). They were appointed by the Principal, Pat Molloy, after I read their poems at my installation by acclamation of the poets as Poet laureate of Nassau County, June 24, 2007,  at Cedarmere, the Roslyn Harbor home of the 19th Century poet, William Cullen Bryant, a Nassau County Historic Site.                           
                           
          Try studying Jack’s and Michael’s’ poems and discover writing techniques they are using , however consciously or subconsciously . 

 

          Note the lyrical language (underlined) in Jack Trested’s poem:

The mermaid sings like
a quiet humming in the night
graceful music
splashing the water with her tailfin
her long hair blowing in the wind
humming quietly in the night.

                                      Jack Trested

          Enjoy Michael King’s leap of imagination from a woodpecker to a statement about poetry. The tone of the poem is prose. Prose diction is a common characteristic of modern poetry.

A woodpecker sings like drums and bongos
rapping and playing in a chorus.
The drums are played with sticks.
Bongos are played with hands.
They are both in the same family.
They can make loud noises when they want to.
That's how poetry is done.

 

                                    Michael King

 

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